Sexy Fantasies for Halloween

Halloween is the perfect opportunity to have fun with your wildest fantasies, get out of character, dress up, explore your most adventurous side and draw upon your erotic imagination.

With a fantasy, you can go anywhere your mind desires and explore the limitless part of your sexuality.  With role-playing, you can act out a fantasy so that your partner learns more about your sexuality. When your partner knows what arouses you, parts of these fantasies can be incorporated into reality. You can modify them to your real life and increase intimacy in your relationship.

Below are five fun fantasy role-playing ideas for women and five for men to get your creative juices flowing.

Hula Dancer

Accessories: Flowing skirt, bikini top or pasties, tiny panties, no shoes, lay of flowers or beads, music

Red ‘Riding’ Hood

Accessories: Red coat, preferably with a hood, red pantyhose, heals, lingerie, basket filled with candy, flavored lubes or adult toys

Belly Dancer

Accessories: Flowing pants or skirt, pasties or bikini top, scarf, arm bangles, beads, feathers.

Pirate Woman

Accessories: High boots, short skirt, wide belt, eye patch, large hoop earrings, Bandanna, a flask.

Cat Woman

Accessories: Black stockings, black one piece bathing suit, eye mask, draw whiskers on your face, cat ears, tail.

Male Erotic Dancer

Accessories: Layered clothing, bow tie, cuffs, boxers or briefs, hat, scarf, chair, sexy music.

Male Police Officer

Accessories: Black pants, shorts, tight button down, tank top, vest, hat, hand cuffs, sunglasses, baton, name badge.

Gangster

Accessories: Pin stripped suit, button down shirt, tie, black shoes, cigar, toy gun, cuffs, cash, large gold rings.

Super Hero

Accessories: Red tights, mask, boots, cloak, scarf, armband, crystal, flashlight, remote control.

Caveman

Accessories: Ripped clothing, toga or loin cloth, headband, club (or rolling pin), dog bone or turkey leg.

Here are 10 Fantasy Rules:

1. DO NOT do anything that is unpleasant, offensive or that makes you feel unsafe.

2. Be willing to trust yourself and your partner.

3. Be prepared for an unpredictable adventure.

4. Keep an open mind, and don’t pass judgment on yourself or your partner.

5. Don’t try to analyze fantasy meanings, just enjoy their main themes.

6. Talk to your partner about your fantasies before making them a reality.

7. Once in a while, pick a different place and time to play.

8. Give yourself at least a half-hour for each fantasy.

9. Take turns at role-playing.

10. Have fun!

Halloween Role-Playing

Role-playing is healthy, fun and natural for couples of any orientation and it can rekindle passion, boost intimacy, is an exciting avenue of escape, opens you up to new activities and can turn a predictable love life into adult play.

Below are five fun role-playing characters for men plus five for women to choose from. Gather as many accessories as you can for your fantasy…remember, the more props you have, the easier it will be to get into your character. Of course you may not have some specific props such as a shield for the Gladiator, but you can invent one by using a tray. The Dominatrix needs a paddle, but you can use a spatula for spanking just as well. If you don’t have a mask, use a scarf, if you don’t have toy weapons, try plastic cutlery. Use your imagination and improvise to make your role-playing fantasy character come alive. Even more important than accessories is your attitude and body language to help you get into the act, so pretend that you love being your chosen character by thinking, feeling and doing the things that this character would do to their lover.

Gladiator

Accessories: Anything in mesh, silver or black, vest, torn T-shirt, shield, plastic sword or safe weapon.

Vampire

Accessories: Black pants, button down shirt, long black cape or jacket, white gloves, black shoes, cane, top hat, medallion, fangs and a glass of red wine.

Rock Star

Accessories: Leather or tight pants, t-shirt, vest, boots, microphone, bandanna, any musical instrument.

Pirate

Accessories: Baggy pants, vest, shirt, wide belt, boots, eye patch, bandanna, scarf, hat, plastic skull, flask, mug, toy hook, flag, treasure chest, jewels.

Cowboy

Accessories: Cowboy hat, boots, jeans, button down shirt, vest, chaps, bandanna, lasso, toy guns, ranger mask.

Female Police Officer

Accessories: Black stockings, shorts, tight blouse, handcuffs, sunglasses, badge and hat.

Nurse

Accessories: White thigh-highs, tight white button down top, gloves, probing examination tools and stethoscope.

Devil Woman

Accessories: Wear something red and tight, choker, high heals or boots, pitch fork, devil horns and devil tail.

French Maid

Accessories: Fishnet stockings, high heels, short skirt, apron, tight blouse, feather duster, a tray of your lovers favorite treats.

Dominatrix

Accessories: Black leather, latex, or satin clothes, gloves, scarf, blindfold, whip, paddle or belt.

When couples role play together and act out each others fantasies, they gain a better understanding of what the other wants, needs, desires and fears. Couples can improve their communication, take their relationship to a higher level of intimacy and expand their sexual horizons.

Crises Can Deepen Love

I tell my clients who come to see me when their relationship is in crises, that trauma can help you to deepen your bond as it did for me in my personal life.  My husband and I went through a matter of life and death which brought  Peter and I closer together. When he was savagely attacked and left for dead, I saved his life but the police treated me as a suspect, which was frightening and devastating. They questioned me about our relationship and my movements in the days preceding the incident, suspecting that I had some connection to the assailants.

This experience affected me emotionally as well as physically and I realized when you marry for better or worse, it doesn’t get much worse than this.  But for both of us, it was a situation that allowed our love to blossom into something even more beautiful.

An abandoned rental van eventually led detectives to the man behind the attack, a psychopathic former client of my husbands who he had represented for burglary. He knew that he was capable of violence, but never told me that he had threatened him. I was angry when I found out and didn’t want to lash out at my husband who was still recovering in the hospital, so I wrote him a letter describing my resentments in detail and ended the letter with my unconditional love and forgiveness. Then I read it to him and he thanked me.

One of the most important things to do in the process of drawing together is learning to forgive. Visualize your love healing your partner’s wounds and your partner’s love energy healing you. Writing a letter is the process of taking out the emotional trash in our lives and allows us to release pent-up pain and negativism on the way to forgiveness.

Emotionally, I was relieved especially when my husband promised to tell me if anyone ever threatened him again and he increased the security around our home. However, my body started to have a physical reaction to the trauma with acute pain in  the right side of my face, ear, jaw and teeth. Well, 12 root canals later I still had the pain and it was only becoming more acute.  I was next diagnosed with TMJ (Tempro Mandibular Joint Syndrome), a misalignment of the teeth and/or jaw, which can cause excruciating pain and migraine headaches.  The pain had become piercing; almost constant and felt as if an ice pick was being jammed into my jaw.  Often the condition was so debilitating, it was impossible for me to sleep.  After trying many different therapies from mouth guards, acupuncture, to massage work, I was still no better.  As a last resort, I had MRI and Cat-scan tests to see if I had any neurological problems.

I was diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia (TGN), a condition involving a blood vessel pressing against a nerve in my brain.   My physicians recommended brain surgery and convinced me that my condition was not going to go into remission, so, when my husband asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I didn’t hesitate to answer, “Brain surgery!”  I could think of no greater present than to be rid of the maddening pain I was in.  Peter agreed that I should have the endoscopic micro neuro-decompression surgery. Well, that was in January, 2000 and even though the surgery was not a success, I had another surgery a few months later called The Gama Knife surgery that didn’t help either, I was prescribed myriad of medications that had no effect and have finally learned to live with the pain in the hopes that one day it will disappear as fast as it appeared. I believe that it was triggered by the shock of seeing my husband bleeding to death with his neck cut from ear to ear. It was a nightmare, but I couldn’t scream. Instead I did everything I could to save his life, and it worked.

We all have the option of feeling sorry for ourselves when faced with a crisis such as this one is for me.  But I am choosing to view it as only another of life’s dares, to be met and faced.  I could give in and become another medical victim, but I prefer to give myself a big hug and say, “I will not let this condition hold me back.”   This misfortune has opened my eyes even wider about human vulnerability.  I realize how minor my problem is in relation to how other people are suffering and it makes me want to help people even more.

I’ve come to view challenges from yet another perspective.  Problems often come with their own inherent solutions, believe it or not every situation that crosses our path is a gift, but not every gift comes with a cheerful packaging.  It is how we perceive the gift, and what we do with it, that counts.

Lifesaving Love Lessons

My husband and I literally saved each others lives when we had a home invasion robbery, but the good news is the horrific experience brought us closer together. It happened after work when I got home 10 minutes before my husband, Peter Knecht who I share an office suite with on the Sunset Strip. He’s a successful Criminal Defense Attorney and I’m an AASECT Certified Sex Counselor. This was a cozy arrangement, being under the same roof, and besides, sex and crime always made for a winning combination.

It was almost 6 PM when my husband hit the garage door opener over the dash and pulled inside. Meanwhile I was upstairs in the bathroom primping to get ready for a romantic dinner.

Little did I know that my husband was fighting for his life and willing to die for me. His attackers tried to force his hands behind his back to restrain his wrists with cord-cuffs. He knew if he let them bind his wrists, he would be totally defenseless so he wouldn’t allow himself to give in, knowing that I was inside the house. The men didn’t wear masks, which meant they were not going to leave any witnesses behind. While they struggled with the cuffs, twisting his wrists, he had no doubt if they got into the house, they would torture and kill us both. This was the do or die moment and it was now or never. Summoning all of his strength, he jerked away from them and turned around, yelling,“You’re not going into the house, gentlemen.  It ends here!”

Immediately, one of them raised his gun to his head, and he winced, bracing for a bullet. But he didn’t fire, perhaps afraid the sound of a gunshot would give them away in such a quiet neighborhood. He said, “Now just walk your ass over there to the door!  We’re going in, motherfucker.”  As Peter’s survival reflex kicked in, he tried to grab the gun out of his hand and lunged at him.  While they scuffled, another man seized him from behind and forced him down to the cement floor.  He was on his knees now, with the two assailants behind him. One of the men grabbed him by the hair and pulled his head back and with the other hand, he slashed his throat from ear to ear.

Peter looked down and saw his white shirt was dark red, drenched from the neck down. Then they attacked him again and slashed him across the chest aiming for his heart.

Seeing the blood gushing out of him, they started to panic and gave up on the idea of getting into the house.  They were desperate to make a getaway because it was obvious to them that they had killed him.

Peter was lightheaded and weak from the loss of blood as he staggered up to the house where I had left the back door unlocked.

I was in utter terror when I saw him looking like some ghoulish apparition with blood gushing out of his neck. But I jumped into action and applied a towel to his neck as a tourniquet to try to stop the bleeding. I saw him fading and pleaded for him not to die.

With sirens announcing their arrival, the police came in just a few minutes before the paramedics. Police had already cordoned off the garage as a crime scene.  Helicopters were buzzing overhead, and several fire engines had come on the scene.

The paramedics would not allow me to accompany my husband in the ambulance, so I called my husband’s best friend, Bob Russo to drive me to the emergency room.

As my husband was being wheeled into surgery, I overheard one of the doctors saying he had lost so much blood that he was concerned there could be brain damage.  According to the medical report, he had a laceration ten inches long and two inches deep that had severed his external jugular. By some miracle, the blade had missed his Carotid artery. A fraction of an inch was the difference between life and death.

My husband is writing a book about his life called Blood and Justice on the Sunset Strip. You can read portions of it at http://peterknechtblog.com/about-blog/

I’m still learning life and love lessons; the most valuable is that through a major crises you can deepen your bond. I’ll share those steps with you in my next installment. I’ll also write about how the police considered me as a suspect and how this experience affected me emotionally as well as physically.

Do you have a lifesaving love lesson that you would like to share?